booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
