I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
