You're completely useless in the revolution.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you traded sex for a burrito?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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