I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
