i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
