i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
