Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
