Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
