There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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