I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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