Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
