we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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