dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
