please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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