Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
