Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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