I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
