thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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