Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
