My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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