he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
