we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
