I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize