my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
