I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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