Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
