420 ftw
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
