"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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