So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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