Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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