Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I want her autograph on my taint
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
