I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
