Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize