We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize