I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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