Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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