That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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