Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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