can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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