bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
