He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
