What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
