i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
