Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
