So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
This couple is walking their pig around campus
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
