"it" just moved
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
