Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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