I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
