I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
