All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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