its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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