Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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