My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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