why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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