I'm going to jail i love you
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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