I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize