You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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