If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
