"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
