I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
