i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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