Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
