You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
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