that's an acceptable place to lick
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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