dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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