In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
