your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm at about main and main street
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Drake has all the answers
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
