When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
