: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
