Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Just pee around me
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize