did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
