I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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