He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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